Listin' 'Em

Hmmm. I don't feel any different.

I had  a really nice Valentines Day.
Like really nice.

Vacation vacation vacation...

I can smell it.
I can feel it.
I can almost touch it.


In other news, I dropped out of the musical.
Drop out drop out drop out.
I wonder how this will effect my social life?
I wonder how this will effect my sleep?


Maybe I should just go for it.

Honestly, the shit you people put me through...


It is a surprise to even me that I haven't up and left yet.

I think I need to find a new job.

I am a second semester senior.

I am tired, grumpy, and stressed out.

What is wrong with this picture?

I have a huge ego.


I  will never be satisfied, will I?
I will always be chased by and endless greed to have it all.

I want to know if people would treat me different if I was thin and pretty.

 Vassar's #1 downside?

Straight males are a rare commodity.

Oh well. I'll just run across the street and sleep with all the Catholics at Marist.

jk jk.

My life is the bomb right now.


I have had a great 4 days.


Vassar '12, baby.

 I hate this losing it feeling.

In fact, I hate pretty much everything right now.

Hate is not a good feeling.

I am a generally unpleasant, intolerable and moody person. 

Today I  drove home the long way. 

The long long way.

The long way that takes 40 minutes to get home way.

I figured I'd get some thinking done.
But I didn't think, I just drove. 
And if I wanted to think, I didn't think, I talked.
A conversation with myself.
But mostly just silence.

Just what I needed. And now I'm exhausted.

There's got to be something more than this.

I am sitting at home in my disgusting striped sweater listening to the sounds of my brother and his friends take animated human lives, wondering why I am friends with so many god damned catty Catholic bitches. 

Like, honestly I was supposed to go to Michael's an initiate my art final.
Not to mention they ate all the food they bought with MY money.
I got to eat week old chinese food left overs.
Not cool.


Day by day my life gets incredibly more pathetic.
I did get into college today.

Some people are born with greatness.


AND SOME PEOPLE HAVE GREAT LAUNDRY MACHINES THRUST UPON THEM!

I know it 's progress when I find lists I've written of things I miss and I no longer feel nostalgic when I read them.


I get it.
I'm ready.
Time to move on.

What a feeling.

So yesterday my parents made me apply to UMass.


Sigh.

All my  friends are catty bitches. 
They make me barf.
And grumpy.


Except Harmony.
Harmony doesn't make me barf. 
She is a nice bitches.

Arielle makes me barf. But not because she's a bitches.
Just because I think I catches something gross from that bitches.

Barf barf barf.


I feel crazy.
Read: am.

 This is why I get grumpy and irritable when people complain endlessly about their busy lives, oh-so stressful lives. I mean, I make an attempt (I think) to stay modest about mine, and it's not like it's a competition or anything. But honestly, shut up.

Monday:
7:15am-2:00pm - Escuela.
2:00-2:45 - Calc. extra (useless help.)
2:45-3:00 - Home, snack, shave.
3:00-5:15- Work, YMCA
5:15-5:45 - Panpans for Dinner.
6:00-7:15 - Work, YMCA
7:15-8:00pm - Do calculus homework in Lynn's office.
8:00-10:00pm - 2nd half of Lifeguarding class. Swim 500 yards, sprint relays, jump from high buildings, tread water, excercise and die, look at sexy boys. Y'know.
10-??? Homework?/Sleep?

Tuesday:
7:15am-2:00pm - Escuela
2:00-2:30- Calc. extra (useless help.)/Production meeting.
2:30-7:00pm - Play practice.
7:00pm-8:00pm- Trip to Michael's for Art supplies/Haverhill in vain search for Oboe
8:00-??? Dinner, homework, sleeping.

Wednesday:
7:15am-2:00pm
2:00pm-2:30pm-Officers Meeting.
2:30-2:45 (Free time?!?!)
3:00-4:00 - Brown Univ. Interview.
4:00-6:00-Play practice.
6:15-10:00pm - Lifeguarding class.
10:00pm-???? Poop./Eat.

Thursday:
7:15am-2:00pm-Escuela.
2:00-5:00pm- Play practice.
5:00??? Freedommm. Dinner. Naptime. Homework. Wonderment.

Friday:
7:15am-2:00pm - Escuela
2:00-4:00- Laundromat Excursion! <3
4:00-5:00-Dinner w/ my babayssss!
???Sometimepm: Foreign Film Festival.
11pm: Sleep sleep sleep.

Saturday:
9:00am-1:15pm - Work, YMCA

Sunday:
12:00-5:00pm - Work, YMCA


Calc test tomorrow!
(Anyone who said senior year was easy is a big fat stinky liar.)

 Also:
People I saw at Panera today:

-Mike Son (obv.)
-Pat Welsh
-Hussain 
-Bobby Connely (Who is in Panera EVERYTIME I am in Panera. Legit. Whenever I skipped 1st period last year, he was there. He was there when I wrote my English paper on Friday, and he was there tonight. He is always there. Always.)
-Mrs. Colontonio (??)
-Lizz Webber
-Diana Babson and Zach that huge football guy.
-Maybe Arielle? I saw a flash of a red jacket. But I saw an awkward old mom later wearing the same color, so I may have just been hallucinating.

I love this woman.

She is wonderful.
She is beautiful.

Don't you think?

She is my mom.
And she's great.

The  #1 thing I fear in college:
-pooping in a new place.

The #2 thing I fear in college:
-communal laundry.

GET ME OUT OF THIS INCUBATOR!!!

Incubator?



I love play practice and basically everything that has to do with it. I loathe everything else. I am bored with "the Catholics" and am desiring a new existance.